Misanthrope? Far from it!

Hey,

Been a while since my last post once again. Just a wee bit too much going on, you know? I've been cherishing every spare minute I've had to, yes, listen to music...

You'd think with me being in two bands, I'd feel less like that, wouldn't you? Fact is, I absolutely love what I might tentatively refer to herein as "zero time". That is, a space of time in which you are called upon for absolutely nothing. Absolute Leisure time, I suppose you could say.
So, I've been constantly and consistently adding to my iPod, trying to remember the cream of the music (*Note to self: Get Eric Clapton/Cream music*) I had on the ol' faithful Sony Walkman MP3. Gods bless that thing, it lasted for YEARS before starting to turn funny. I got a load of Metallica and a load of Nirvana, most recently. Oh, and some Smashing Pumpkins too, courtesy of Kev (No - I don't mean I received a selection of high-quality squashes. Tut.) =]

I've been on my own a lot recently. Hence the title! But it's not really by choice. I've had a hell of a time with my Dole, and as a consequence, had no money, so what little I've had hasn't really been enough to fund any sort of social situation that would cost more than bus fare =S
This is really starting to get to me. I want to see people, go out, have drinks, live life! And God knows I don't always feel like this, so...

In the past I have had issues with being in social situations. Not so much a feeling of Misanthropy (Basic definition: Hating other members of the human species, objectively) as, well, a phobia. Genuinely being unable to face certain situations, and, in the rare circumstance of being forced to, feeling claustrophobic and on-edge.
I remember going to town for little Claire's birthday last year, with all the gang, and it came time for us to go to the K, and I literally couldn't bring myself to go there. I turned round and went home, cursing myself for an idiot all the way up Wood St, but something in my head just said "No. You can't go there now."
I think I know why this is - I can actually trace it back to a certain point - but I'm not saying anything in such a public domain. For me to write it here is enough, without going into the whys and wherefores. Suffice to say, people that I trust already know, or are free to enquire.

"It is not so much our friends' help that helps us as the confident knowledge that they will help us."

Friends. There's an interesting one. You can have friends that aren't really friends. Friends that really are friends. Friends you don't see for months, but when you do, pick up where you left off. And Friends who claim the appellation undeservingly...

So, have you ever been in that situation (I'm mainly speaking to male readers here, though that's not to say that others won't feel the same) where you're good friends with someone, but you'd like it to be more? I'm fairly sure there's a quote that runs along the lines of "All the best relationships are built on good friendships", but that's a confusing one... Does it mean that friendship is necessary prior to the engagement of a relationship, or that at the start of a relationship, you should work on your friendship as a priority, or that friendship develops over time with them?
(And, don't I just know it, there will be someone reading this who thinks "Oh, this is about me". Yes, humanity has the curse of arrogance, or I suppose, paranoia. Anyway, for one person, they'll be right!)
My question to you though, O readers of Blogs, is:
Should you take a step and possibly make a good friendship awkward? Or should you be satisfied at having a good friend?
You know, I've been here once before. Granted, she had to kind of metaphysically cuff me around the head a bit before I realised what she was intimating, and it sort of fizzled out, but d'you know what? I think we're better friends than ever for the experience. It's hard to feel bitter, or hold a grudge against anyone who's been in your life for a certain amount of time...
Anyway, I'll leave that to you to muse over, and possibly shout at me for. =p

So, onto one of my favourite subjects:
JESUS!

No, but seriously, I was having a little ponder the other day... (Intelligence + Being bored sifting through job applications = Profound introspection)
Now, despite my outspoken heretical views about, well, religion in general, I think that the underlying message of most (if not all) religions is pretty much the same, a sort of plea of: "Hey, look, we're all basically the same, Homo Sapiens, you know? Wouldn't it be nice if we all just rubbed along together and swerved the ol' "persecution" stuff? Hmm?"

I was considering, anyway, the nature of the Big J, good ol' Jesus. Now, the Bible (more specifically, the New Testament) is replete with fables of Jesus' deeds. Anyone who paid even the least attention in R.E. can name a few of these, the feeding of the 5000, raising Lazarus from the dead, etc, etc.
Imagine, then, if what happened, about 1980 years ago (by modern reckoning), was in fact a version of Chinese Whispers, taken to an unimaginably over-inflated conclusion?
Picture the scene in modern terms: A group of "educated" southerners (Yes - I am picturing Satan - I MEAN Mr. Cameron and his Oxford chums) travelling north through Britain, telling all that they meet that they have heard of - or are followers of - this great man, who is a few days behind them, who can raise people from the dead, walk on water. A humble carpenter's son, in fact, who was immaculately conceived! Might it not be the case that there would be some gullible people who'd be taken in by this story of this human with extraordinary powers? Let's face it - How many people are there who'd love, in their heart-of-hearts, to believe that there really are super heroes, or X-men, or whatever?
Could it be the case that Jesus, and thus, the New Testament, was based on a brilliant prank?
Think about it. =]

Now... I have something else to say! Ok, ok, so it's been a RIDICULOUSLY long blog so far, but this is about a months worth of pent-up words! Besides which, I've taken to reading Dickens (it's only taken 22 years!), so I'm feeling particularly verbose. =p

Right. It is my firm belief that the nature of the universe is cyclical; an endlessly repeating pattern of endlessly repeating patterns, from the movement of the smallest possible matter, through to the universe itself. Concentric loops, starting, existing, ending, and repeating patterns ad infinitum. Proof? It's in the everyday, all around us. Humans are naturally programmed to follow a certain daily pattern, with sunrise and sunset dictating our sleeping patterns (there's that word again). Why do we do this? Because the Earth itself follows a pattern, or orbit, which in turn is part of a greater pattern, which IN TURN is part of a greater pattern... You can see where I'm going there, right?
So, let us swing our thoughts to weighty subjects, such as global warming, polar ice caps melting, and, I'm afraid, even our very existance. Why, oh why, do these fusty, priggish people insist upon worrying about the environmental damage we're causing as a race? Let me quote from Wikipedia - and before you ask, no, I don't actually use it as some sort of information balm. I just find that Wikipedia sometimes provides nice, clear definitions, that I simply couldn't phrase better. So:

"The Earth's climatic history has been divided, in intervals of millions of years, into Ice Ages and Interglacial Ages."

If I may draw your attention to the word "Interglacial Ages"... That's what we currently inhabit. And thus, as sure as there has been an Ice Age before now, there will be one again. So, chill your beans, y'all. We're a hardy race. Supposedly the most intelligent that has yet walked on our planet... I think we'd be able to deal with it. I mean, come on, what sort of damage would a super-volcanic eruption cause? And that's from a natural bloody source. So, we're accelerating the process; So what? These things are a slow process! It's hardly like we'll go to bed, nice and cosy one night, and then wake up next morning in an arctic wasteland, as though billions of tons of ice have (figuratively) sneaked in through the back door and settled down for a millenia.

So, bearing this pattern in mind, I'd like to bring your attention to the theory of universal expansion. I mean, I think it makes sense (being a believer in the Big Bang Theory - No, not the comedy, though I am a fan) that the universe is continuing to expand outwards. Will this process reverse someday? Yes, I'm also sure of that. And then we'll have Big Bang the II: This time it's personal. Or Big Bang III. Or X. Or L. The point being, the universe could have repeated this pattern a practically infinite number of times before now; over a span of "time" that we, as humans, find near impossible to fathom. In short, our existance on this here planet, this minute speck of space and time we're allowed to occupy, should be worthwhile, and full, and you should, above all, ENJOY life! You only get one!


... Or do you...?


Ok, Ok, I'll talk about reincarnation another time. =p This has been ridiculously lengthy, but hey, I enjoyed it. I hope you've reached this point without, well, falling asleep. Thank you, so much, for bothering to plough through my musings.

Much love, credit, hugs and kudos!
Shalom, my friends, peace! Bismillah!

Tet x